Showed up at my therapist’s office for our 10 am session. She walked into the waiting room and said, “You don’t look good. Have you eaten?” “No,” we responded in unison.
She took me to the cafe upstairs where she proceeded to order my food (after checking that what she was going to order was okay with me, of course). 2 slices of white bread, toasted.
Then she spotted the gatorade. Told me to pick a flavor. I think I picked yellow. I don’t remember.
Made me eat in session and told me to finish in the waiting room and informed my mom (my car is in the shop so she’s driving me to appointments) that I had to finish my toast, half the gatorade, and an ensure.
I finished the toast and then told my mom I had to go to the bathroom. She said she had to go too. I poured the ensure down the toilet.
Haven’t had a bite else to eat today. Oops.
I’ve had my heart stopped. 8 times. 8 times I’ve flatlined.
Granted, the medication that made me flatline was also saving me and only has a half-life of 6 seconds so I wasn’t going to stay “dead.” My heart would stop beating again.
But it stopped. My heart, it stopped. 8. Times.